Who'd think the South was the sweet one? Full Fic
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De-anoning! Mature themes and really angsty. Anyway, in this fic I took the Liberty to present some things that are important to me in real life. Which is Domestic violence against men. Putting Italy in the 'female' role, many of the things in this mentioned in this first chapter are issues that face men who are victims of domestic violence. People not believing them, people believing that since a man is bigger he must have started it, etc. Though in the fic I didn't touch upon the ridicule men get when trying to come forward with charges of domestic violence against the women in their life.


'If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from my brother!'

Romano always used to scream at him. Germany wish he would have listened. Those words hadn't been a threat, they'd been a warning.

Italy had been so sweet at first, oblivious, yes, but sweet and loving. But the more serious the relationship got, the worse he became. It started slowly, Italy telling him his wurst taste like shit while smiling like an idiot. Then it evolved into Italy berating him for not being able to even make a simple meal right. To throwing the plate off the table until Italy started beating him for it. Slowly it leaked out from the kitchen into every aspect of their relationship. It wasn't just slaps, kicks and punches either. It was belts, pans, throwing things at him, shoving him into things, even cutting him when he was extremely agitated.

At first it was just when Germany did something wrong, then when he did something he didn't like. Eventually it got to the point where Italy would be smoking and he would rub it out on his face or roughly kick him out of the bed in the middle of the night, whether if he was snoring or not.

Germany initially thought Italy was acting like this to turn him on, knowing the kind of pornography he was into. Then thought maybe Italy was afraid of him a little after the war and wanted to show he could defend himself. But before Germany knew it or could stop it, he was in an abusive relationship and all aspects of his life were controlled by Italy and what he wanted. There was no way for him to refuse, if he did, he'd be sure to get more of a beating than normal. So Germany followed his orders obediently.

If Italy wanted Germany to stop working, he had to stop. If Italy wanted something special for dinner, he got it (and so help him if he messed it up). If Italy wanted sex, he got that too, even if it wasn't with Germany and he would have to watch so he could learn how to not be 'such a pathetic lay'. But if Germany even glanced at any other person, even to make eye contact to talk to them; Italy wouldn't hesitate to verbally and physically remind him remind him who he was with, usually by way of salt of lemon juice. In Italy's eyes, there was nothing Germany did right.

He hated himself for it, how he continued to let it happen. But he couldn't tell anyone, if he told it'd just make things worse. Besides, no one would believe him anyway. The sweet little Italy beating up the big macho Germany? There was no way to defend himself either, if he did so, and somehow Italy got hurt, they would think he was the aggressor. And he deserved it anyway, after World War II, even if he was kept in the dark about so much, people died because of him. For all he knew this was Italy's way of showing his love for him, by redeeming him and keeping him in line through this kind of treatment. He had convinced himself of that. Italy beat him because he loved him, and he loved Italy, so he would stay no matter what happened.

It was a mantra that Germany told himself to get him through world meetings. Sometimes when America walked by he wanted nothing more than to beg him for help. He was so obsessed with being a hero, he wanted to beg him to rescue him from Italy's abuse. But then he'd see England and remembered why he was getting it in the first place.

He remained as stone-faced as ever at first. Not wanting to show any sort of weakness at a meeting. Besides, the meetings were a happy break for him from Italy's beatings. Gradually though, it became harder, even if Italy had good reason to beat him, it still hurt him. Loving and fearing the same person was one of the most horrible things he'd ever felt, and it would sometimes show on his face.

The bruises and cuts that would appear from time to time didn't help hide it either. It wasn't much at first. 'I fell.' 'Blackie jumped up on me and cut me.' But as the frequency and severity of these things increased, it became more and more difficult for Germany to cover up his injuries and his anguish. His weight decreased as well. Italy would allow nothing but his favourite pastas and pizzas, though he knew too much of that sort of food bother Germany's acid reflex. 'Eat it or starve then' was Italy's decree in the kitchen, though usually after a beating Germany would lose his appetite anyway.

Romano was obviously the first to notice these changes in Germany, he knew to look. He's noticed in the beginning, and tried to approach Germany about it. It never worked, his younger brother pre-empted him every-time, until Germany was trained to avoid Romano and go straight to Italy when he appeared. Though Italy rarely let him out of his sight.

Prussia was the second to notice, long after Romano did. His brother visited far less often, and never alone. When he tried to rough house and prank his brother, he reacted much differently. Instead of being annoyed, he would panic and beg his brother to let him go, almost on the verge of tears. He tried to shrug at off at first, he didn't know what happened to him after the war before the wall came down. Maybe some of the things he was doing reminded him of a bad experience he hadn't quite been able to bury yet and he just needed time to deal with it.

It wasn't until he began joking with Italy that Prussia was able to see the real problem. He'd had a crush on the sweet Italy and he'd joke about stealing him away from his brother, which usually merited furious head shaking and objections from his brother. 'You wouldn't know what you were getting yourself into, Bruder, trust me.' But when he made a comment directly to him...

"Hahahaha! Italy, you should dump this fuddy-duddy and get with me! I'm WAY more fun."


Prussia had barely finished his sentence when Germany had said that, and it concerned him greatly. Not because he said it, but the way he said it. His brother never seemed to emote with his voice unless it was anger, at least to other people. But he knew better, that wasn't a 'no' as in 'No, he's mine.' That was the same no Germany used when he was about to do something extremely dangerous in war, a tone he hadn't used since he was little. It was a 'No, you'll get hurt' kind of no.

Italy laughed and played it off as Germany being extremely jealous, patted him on the head, gave him a hug, and whispered what Prussia assumed were words of comfort in his ear; oblivious to the fact Italy was telling him how badly he'd hurt him for that out burst. But Germany just stood here and hugged him back, like he was supposed to, but Prussia could see there was something not right in Germany's eyes in that instant. Somewhere in them he looked distant and afraid.

Never in a million years did Prussia think Italy could be any sort of a threat or danger, and he wondered if he had just imagined that tone. Maybe it just sounded that was because he was frustrated. But too much weird stuff was happening with his brother lately for him to ignore it, and there was only one other person that close to them that was on the outside looking in.

He was going to speak to Romano.

Romano received a email from Prussia entitled 'Our Brothers' Relationship'. Knowing full well what it was, he opened it and read it.

'I started to notice that some-thing's doesn't seem right between our brothers, I don't know if you've noticed it too. I know you don't like my brother but I think we need to talk about it. Meet me at Austria's tomorrow at 10 am.'

The next day Romano arrived at Austria's house just as he was asked. Prussia was already there and Romano made himself at home before Austria even got a chance to welcome him.

"Now that you're both here, would you mind telling me what all this is about and why you had to hold this conversation in my home?" Austria inquired as he set out a tray for his guests as any good host would.

"There's something weird going on between Italy and Germany." Prussia's tone was serious for once.

Austria raised an eye brow. "I think 'weird' is pretty much the basic nature of their relationship..."

"No. I mean bad weird. My bruder isn't acting like himself and I wanna know what you know about it Romano."

"He's beating the crap out of him." Romano replied bluntly, sipping the wine he was offered.

"What!?" Austria interrupted before Prussia got a chance to speak. "That's ridiculous, I've known Germany for a very long time, and he would never-"

"I'm not talking about him, stupid!" Romano spat. "I'm talking about my idiot brother!"

Austria and Prussia stared at Romano, mouth agape, unable to believe what they had just heard.

"I can't believe Italy could do something like that, he's so sweet!" Prussia exclaimed in disbelief, but horrified none the less.

"I've known Italy since he was little, I can't believe he'd do anything like that. Especially to Germany! They seem so in love..."

"Well believe it! And the more he likes him the worse it'll be. It's like this every-time he gets serious with a guy. He'd never lay a hand on a girl, but..." Romano crossed his arms. "It's like he's got all this pent up anger about this boy he liked when he was little who went off to war and left him. He died and he never saw him again. So he takes it out on whatever dickhead he's dating."

Austria lowered his eyes thinking back on that time and how upset Italy was when he left, and when he found out he wouldn't return.

"Do you think he's beating him so he'll be too afraid to leave?" Austria pondered, certain he'd read something like that in a book somewhere.

"How the hell should I know!?! Do I look like Freud!?!"

"Now hold on one fucking minute!" Prussia slammed his hands down on the table, over his initial shock. "I don't give a shit why he's doing it, he's hurting my brother and I'm gonna wring his scrawny little neck!" He took his anger out on the table once again, flipping it over. "I should do the same to you! You KNEW! Why the fuck didn't you say anything if you knew this was gonna happen anyway!?"

"I thought the potato bastard was smarter than that!"

"Quiet!" Austria shouted. "You can fight about this later. Isn't it more important to get Germany out of this situation?"

The two of them stood there in silence, knowing Austria was right. Now wasn't the time to argue about how it happened. It was the time to end it.

"I don't know about this. Why are there two different meetings today?" Germany asked as he and his brother made their way down the hall to the main conference room.

Prussia shrugged. "The hell if I should know. Probably to save time or some shit. Different countries, different issues." He managed to force a mischievous smile despite the seriousness of the situation. "You can survive a few hours without the old ball and chain, can't you?"

The younger nation nodded quietly as they approached the door of their designated conference room. An uneasy feeling stirred inside Germany's stomach. All he could think about was how angry Italy would be at him and the interrogation he would get when he got home.

Germany opened the door and peered into the room cautiously and saw Romano speaking to America. For once he actually had a serious look on his face and he was nodding in agreement to whatever the older Italian was saying.

"Oi, come on, West! Scoot your glute so I can get in!"

He stepped into the conference room and looked around cautiously. There were only a few nations there other than America and Romano. As soon as he had stepped toward the center of the room, his brother entered behind him, and blocked the door. The atmosphere in the room changed almost immediately.

"Hello, Germany-san." Japan spoke first for once. "How are things with you and Italy?"

"Quite fine, thank you." Germany straitened his tie. "Now may we skip the pleasantries and get to the issue at hand? No one has explained the nature of this meeting to me."

"The nature of this meeting is about what's been going on between you and Italia, Anglemange."

Germany swallowed hard. "I don't have time for this." He stated before he turned and made for the door. However Hungary and his brother were blocking him and wouldn't move from in front of the door.

"Bruder," Prussia sighed. "We need to talk about this, it's serious."

"Germany," America interjected before Germany could interrupt. "We know what he's been doing to you."

"Honestly, you're all over-reacting. It's no big deal, everything's fine."

"It IS a big deal!" Hungary trying to sound gentle and stern. "If this was happening to someone else you wouldn't feel that way."

"You don't understand!" Almost immediately Germany jumped to a desperate defensive stance, almost sounding like he was about to cry. "He does it because he loves me! I deserve it!"

"Deserve it!?! What the bloody hell could you have done to deserve constant beatings like that!? Look at you! You have bruises on your face, you've come to meetings all cut up... There's bags under your eyes and it looks like you've lost 50 pounds."

Germany's expression turned grim and he looked downward. Words slipped out hoarsely from his throat. "You know what."

"Germany you couldn't control what your boss was doing! None of us could! We can't even control them now, it's not like the old days! When are you going to stop beating yourself up over this? We know you didn't know and we know you didn't want it."

"Allemange," France sighed. "You seem to be the only one who thinks you have something coming to you. If we thought you deserved it, would we be here trying to stop it?"

He stood there, silent, staring at the floor. They knew he had no answer to that question. After a few moments of awkward silence Germany finally spoke. 'It's not as bad as you think..."

"Germany," Austria sighed. "Germany, if you can lift your shirt and show us that you don't have any cuts or bruises on you, we'll drop this entire thing."

Germany averted his eyes, looking down in shame. He couldn't do that, and they knew he couldn't.

"...I still love Italy."

"We know Germany, but love isn't supposed to be like this. You need help and so does Italy."

After a few moments of looking around the room at all he concerned faces, he breathed in and exhaled a huge sigh, as if he was breathing out all his tension and fear. "Alright."

The tension in the air relaxed after he said it and his brother put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Bruder, we're gonna send you to go stay at America's house for a while okay? You'll be safe there. I'll take care of all the paper work and other crap you usually do for both of us." Prussia rubbed his brother's shoulder comfortingly. "Now as soon as you and America leave, we're gonna go talk to Italy. I promise no one's gonna do anything bad to Italy. We're just going to talk to him, okay?"

A small smile made it's way onto Germany's face and he nodded.

"It'll be fun!" America chimed, his usual energy returning. "We'll stay at my house in Texas! There's this store there that's all German food! It'll be just like your place!"

Prussia watched his brother walk off with America, a bitter-sweet wave of relief washing over him.

"Gee, like, what's taking everyone else so long?" Poland puffed. He was sitting in the other room with Italy and a few other nations. Lithuania, Estonia, Greece, and Spain had decided to sit in the other room and be decoys to keep Italy from being suspicious while they were waiting for the others to get done in the other room.

"Ve~" Italy sighed. "I hope they hurry! I'm hungry and I could use a siesta~"

Poland just sighed at his friend and twirled his hair. Italy was always so sweet, it was hard for him to believe that he'd be capable of abusing anyone. Especially Germany. If he hadn't heard it straight from Romano, he probably never would have believed it.

Finally, after about fifteen more minutes of bored silence, the door to the conference room opened and the rest of the nations attending the intervention poured in.

"Ve! There you guys are!" Italy sat in his chair swinging his legs back and forth like a child. "I was about to take a siesta!"

"I'm sure you were." Prussia sneered.

"Hee! Well I do like my siestas~" Italy chimed. "Eh? Where's Germany? I thought he was with you?"

"I'm gonna play around and drag this shit out!" Romano spat. "I told them what you've been doing to him."

"What do you mean, fratello?"

"We know what you've been doing to Germany." England stated grimly.

"I oughta knock your head off right here, but I promised Germany I wouldn't beat the living daylights out of you."

Italy sat there in shock looking at all the grim expressions on his friends face. Some sad, some angry, most were disappointed. Even if Italy could have thought of something to say at that moment, he wouldn't have dared to. Instead he just hung his head like a child who got caught doing something he'd been told several times not to do.

It was that, essentially. His brother wasn't a stranger to finding out these things had happened in the past. But it was different this time. Before his lovers were quick to leave. Germany was the only one who stayed and put up with any of it.

"Italy." Poland managed to muster up enough courage to say something. "Why would you like... do that? It's so unlike you. I just like, don't get it."

"I just..." Italy sniffled, starting to cry. "I don't know! I got so scared he would leave me, and he kept getting angry with me! I didn't know what to do! I wanted to show him I could be tough on him when he did things I didn't like too! And-and I was afraid if I didn't ever do anything and that if he thought I was too weak he'd leave me and I'd never see him again."

With that Italy had begun to sob openly. Japan knew Germany had been rough on him in the past, but that was when they were only friends and soldiers in war, not lovers. Even then Germany hadn't done anything like what Italy had been doing to him.

"Look. Whatever, I don't care. It's going to be a LONG time before you see my brother again, if I ever let you see him again, at all. I fucking mean it. Not even in meetings." Prussia spat at him and made his way to the door. "You need to get some fucking help. And then maybe in few decades, I MIGHT consider letting you call him. But I wouldn't hope on that."

The whole room winced at the force in which Prussia slammed the door as he left.

Italy just sat there sobbing and shaking. Everyone in the room stared at him for a few moments and most started to make their own way out, not feeling they needed to be there anymore. Finally Austria decided to say something.

"Italy, I know Prussia was harsh, and it might be a bit hypocritical for me to say it, considering how I treated you in the past but... He's right. Romano said this happened before. You don't want it to happen again do you?"

"No." Italy sniffed, rubbing his eyes on his sleeve.

"It'll be okay, Italy." Hungary cooed comfortingly. "We can talk about it, I'm sure Austria might have some books on what you can do and where to go from here. Okay?"


"I want you to know we still love you Italy, we hate what would you did, but we still love you and we're going to try to make things better again. As well as they can be made better, at least."

Italy buried his face into Hungary's shoulder as she pulled him into a comforting hug. Murmuring small comforts of how everything would be okay.

"Ah, I think we can handle everything from here, France. You better make sure Prussia is okay and not destroying something in a fit of rage."

France nodded and made his way to the door. Before he left turned to look at Italy and shook his head, his tone of voice grim. "Italy, I hope you get this resolved and that things are alright between the two of you again someday; but... You really have absolutely no idea what you've done."

With that he left Italy sitting alone in the conference room with the few who decided to help him. He loved Italy too, but it wasn't his job to help him. It was his job to help keep Germany away from Italy when he eventually returned to his own country. In case he decided to go right back to him and they would both fall back into the habit of abusing and being abused.

He made his way down the hallway looking for Prussia, heart heavy. Even if he didn't know about what had been going on, he still felt guilty. Maybe if he had said something to both of them, about Germany's past, then this could have been avoided. But it was too late for that. That burden of knowledge was on him alone, and he said nothing. Now he had to live with it and wonder what might have happened had he not kept silent and waited for Germany to remember on his own.

For now he would do what he could to hope the situation, and hope that maybe one day, things would be back to how they were and how they should have always been.

Sith Lord Prussia Part 11
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Parts 1-9: http://fairykingaub.livejournal.com/6202.html
Part 10: http://fairykingaub.livejournal.com/7350.html

It's short, but it's finally here. A year  in the making... the final chapter of Sith Lord Prussia. I hope you all enjoyed it, I'm sorry it took so long to finish and I hope the OP has seen me posting these, even if they don't want to reveal themselves.


The next morning, the nations got up early and shuffled their way to the conference room, and entered the conference room to see Prussia already there, sitting at the head of the table, feet propped up like he owned the world.

"Glad you could all finally make it!" Prussia snickered, putting his hands behind is head. "You kept me waiting long enough! But I guess a few hours is nothing in comparison to the decades I've waited for this moment. Now let's get to work on those papers!"

The next 5 hours were spent deliberating certain aspects of the paperwork. What he could and couldn't do with his new technology, how he could and couldn't remove any citizens from Poland and Russia that refused to relocate on their own, giving him back key areas of his land; as well as drawing up the laws he wanted for his country in the modern age. Finally, after everything was agreed upon and Prussia was sure they didn't add anything he didn't agree to, it was finished.

"Alright then. The papers are all drawn up, we've explained the situation to our bosses and they've written their statements to explain to their people what's going and why this is happening." Germany placed the papers in-front of his brother and straightened his tie. "Everyone else has already signed, agreeing to give you your land. By signing not are you finalizing the agreement, but you are also agreeing to not use lethal force to relocate Poland and Russia's citizens; as well as agreeing to only use the new technology you've created in self defence, after all other methods have failed."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it! Didn't I just agree to all this?" Prussia grumbled impatiently. "Just gimme the pen so I can sign!"

With a few quick pen strokes, it was finished. Prussia was a country once more.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have quite a lot of work to do restoring my country. There's things to tear down and palaces to rebuild!" And with that, Prussia stood up and strutted out of the conference room, chest puffed out and head held high. "Later, losers!"

Despite all the all the stress the situation caused, Germany couldn't help but shake his head and smile as he watched him leave. His brother had reclaimed his land and became a nation once again. All because he told him he couldn't make a lightsaber.

Recoil (Sequel to Bang)
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 Oh my gods. What the fuck. It's finally finished.

The long awaited sequel to my kink meme fill, Bang: http://fairykingaub.livejournal.com/5350.html

I promised this months ago, but life kept getting in the way. The people who were waiting for it probably gave up and don't care anymore, but just in case... Here it is. Finally.

The first few paragraphs I've had for months, but I finished this all tonight.

If you spot any spelling or grammar errors, please let me know.  I was so excited about finishing and made the people who wanted it wait so long, that I wanted to post it right now.


It'd been about month since the incident, as England called it. Where he had drawn his gun and shot America. He had avoided going to visit him, knowing that his leviathan lover would be there, who was undoubtedly waiting to give England a water-pipe enema.

But finally he was there, at his house, clutching his peace offering tightly. His stomach was in knots. The guilt was eating him alive. Guilt from shooting him, guilt from being a coward and waiting so long to come visit him. Yet at the same time he felt boorish for even daring to show his face to his former colony.

He knew America wouldn't forgive him simply because he brought him a Happy Meal. That was foolish, but at the same time, that was a common way for a parent to smooth things over with their child in America. So at the very least he hoped that it would be a good start, and that America wouldn't take it as an insult to his maturity or think he was taking the incident lightly.

It felt like an eternity, standing at that door, trying to muster up the courage to knock. His palms were sweaty that England worried that the paper bag he was holding would fall apart. Russia had left to take care of business back in his home, he had made sure of that, but there was no telling how America would react.

Would he punch him? Push him down? Or would he decide to retaliate in the same manner and shoot him? A small part of him wished that he would, if it would make them somehow even and the whole incident could be forgotten. But England knew even if America did decide to shoot him in return, it wouldn't really change anything.

Finally, he inhaled deeply, mustering all the courage he could, and rapped on America's door 3 times.

It seemed like an eternity before America came to the door, but in reality it had only been a few brief moments.

"Who is it?" America enquired from the other side of the solid oak door.

"It's...me. England."

There was a long silent pause. England stood there, his entire body tense, knowing that America had to be peering decisively though the peep hole. After five minutes of silence, England was ready to give up and leave, but America pre-empted him by finally opening the door to look at him face to face.

"Hey... What's up?"

For a moment England just stood there looking at him. He couldn't stand it. The look on America's face was abysmal. On anyone else it would have meant they were mildly upset, but that face was hardly ever sad. Even when it was, the expression was never as somber as England had seen it before. No, on America this expression was one of deep depression.

"M-May I come in?" England finally asked, realizing he had been standing there, dumbfounded.


America let England through and walked into the living room, setting the bag down on the table. Usually England would have been happy if America controlled himself and didn't dig into the bag for his toy the second he received a Happy Meal. But now he would have given anything to see his face light up at the smallest things. He'd never noticed it before, but that was really part of his charm.

"M-may I sit?" England asked, after America had seated himself in on his couch.


He sat himself on the opposing love-seat, looking down at the floor. Desperately he tried to search for the words he needed as he wrung his hands nervously.

"I came here today because... Well..." He tugged at his collar wondering how to continue. "I...I wanted to apologize. I know it took me a while but.. I didn't want to come to soon.. I didn't know if you'd.... And... I knew he... I'll admit, I was terrified, I'm a coward and I shouldn't have let that keep me from coming to see you but.. I just... I just didn't know what to do."

"I see..." The younger nation responded softly.

For a while, the two of them just sat there in silence, not sure of what to say to one another until America finally looked up at England.

"Why did you shoot me?" His eyes were filled with a sorrow that showed his true age, and it was if his gaze cut deep into the elder nation's heart. "All I did was ask you to pay attention."

England bit his lip hard, almost piercing the skin. At that very moment he loathed himself even more than he had for the past month. Something he thought was impossible.

"I don't know." He choked out hoarsely. "I just snapped. I could list off a million things that lead me to that moment, but it doesn't matter. It does make it right, and I don't deserve to make any excuses for myself."

The elder nation paused for a moment, breathing in deeply, trying to compose himself be he resumed speaking.

"I don't ever expect you to forgive me. I know I've screwed up so many times but I had to apologize. Even if it was just to let you know I'm sorry. Even if you don't believe me, I still had to say it, because I am." England buried his face in his hands, all attempts he made to keep his emotions in check failed and he started crying in a manner that usually followed a night of binge drinking.

America sat there watching England sob into his hands, thinking back on when he first met him. England hardly ever sobbed openly like this, when he was sober at least. Their relationship had always been a turbulent one. England had caused him a lot of suffering and heartache but they would always manage to patch things up, even if it took centuries in the making. And despite what he had said all those years ago, he had never stopped considering England to be his family, as much as he would have liked to.

"I don't forgive you." America finally huffed out, crossing his arms and pouting. "Yet. It's gonna take AT LEAST a Big Mac for me to start forgiving you. I can't get full on just a Happy Meal!"

England's head shot back up and he looked America right in the eyes. His eyes weren't as vibrant as the usually were, but the spark was in them again, and there was an air of playfulness about him. He smiled and rubbed his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Al-Alright! W-Why don't we go now!" His breathed shakily as he stood up. "I'll drive."

"Great! That means I can eat my Happy Meal on the way there!"  

America jumped up and put an arm on England's shoulder, leading him out to the car. He hadn't totally forgiven him just yet and most likely wouldn't for a good while, but he was willing to try to and rebuild their relationship once again.

Sith Lord Prussia part 10
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OMFG! IT'S FINALLY HERE! Not the end, but I wanted to show I was working on it!

Previous Parts: http://fairykingaub.livejournal.com/6202.html

Germany had dialed Prussia's cell phone again, as he had done several times during the meeting.

"It's ringing!" He announced and all the nations gather around in suspense to see if Prussia would
answer. "I'll put it on speaker."

"Hello~!" Prussia answered in a sing-song tone. "May I ask who's calling~?"

"Bruder you know damn well who's calling!"

"Aww is that anyway to speak to the most powerful man in the world~?"

The younger German chose to ignore his brother's boastfulness. "Poland has agreed to your conditions, a portion of his territory will be awarded to you as well as-"

"Yeah yeah," Prussia interrupted. "That's all great but... It's payback time for the Pillsbury dough boy. I've decided I'm taking Kalingrad, too."

Everyone in the conference room gaped in horror at the audacity of that claim. Rigidly they all turned their gaze toward Russia, who had a sadistic child-like grin painted across his face.

"It's foolish to think I'll give up my land so easily." He giggled.

"Well~ I could always take it by force... But I thought at least SOMEONE would be excited that Russia wouldn't have an territory right next to Lithuania... And it'd be a shame if I accidentally misfired and hit him..."

Immediately the crazy switch in Belarus' mind was triggered and she latched onto her brother.

"I agree! We wouldn't want war breaking out would we, brother? Then you wouldn't have to spend any time worrying about the territory near that fag's house and spend more time with me, brother!"

Lithuania didn't speak, but he seemed quite pleased with the idea of not having Russian territory next to him or have Russia breathing down his neck at any given moment. Ukraine cried and begged that Prussia not attack her brother. Poland was screaming that Russia already had more land than anyone else and if he had to give up territory, that the fatty should too. Germany couldn't do anything buy stare at the bedlam breaking out between all of them. His brother was an evil genius.

After much crying from Ukraine, psychotic persuasions from Belarus and threats on Lithuania's well being from Prussia and Belarus alike, Russia caved in an agreed to relinquish his hold on Kalingrad.

"I knew you'd see things my way, Stay-Puft!" Prussia cackled like a madman. "I'll be there tomorrow so we can draw up all the paperwork and territory lines! And don't even think of pulling anything! I'm bringing back up! Bye bye, West! Kiss kiss! Don't forget to eat your veggies and fuck your boyfriend!"

With that the other line went dead. Despite the embarrassing send off to Germany, the room was silent of any laughter and the heaviness of the situation weighed on everyone's shoulders.

"Well," Germany sighed. "Let's all go back to the hotel and at least try to get some rest..."

Another update
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Well I finally finish my comission for Help Haiti. http://fairykingaub.deviantart.com/art/HRE-and-Chibitalia-165111569

Next I have to work on finishing Kink Meme fills, sadly Sith Lord Prussia is not close to being finished, I have horrible writers block with it, and I don't just wanna churn out a shitty ending. :/ I have another fic that I have not de-anon'd from and is almost done. After those are done I'm going to work on the sequel to Bang, I hope people still want it, I feel bad for making everyone wait so long, but my computer was acting up for a long time before it died, and I didn't want to write something and lose it, as there was no rhyme or reason to how it was crashing.

Now that I have a new laptop, I'm having trouble kicking myself into gear again. I was writing and drawing a lot before the computer started to die, and I'm having trouble getting back into the habit of it, even if I loved the feeling of accomplishment. Please be patient with me, I am trying to get back to that place again now that I'm accustomed to my laptop.

I will TRY and I put emphasis on TRY to finish my kink meme requests and at least put a couple of paragraphs down for the sequel to Bang (I've started it but it's only at a few sentences) BEFORE June 10th, when I'll be having Oral Surgery, as that will put me out for a while as I'm having near half my teeth removed.

And while I most likely will not be able to write/draw (though I don't think anyone follows my art) while I'm recovering due to the fact that I'll be on painkillers, I WILL be trying to work on new Hetalia Sillies again.

:< So I hope everyone understands and can be patient... Sorry for all the delays!

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I finally have a new computer, the other was unsalvageable, sadly.

But I have a lovely shiny new laptop. Which means HOPEFULLY  can get some work done on the Hetalia Sillies and of course, the fics and art I started but couldn't finish. Meaning the sequel to 'Bang' and 'Sith Lord Prussia',

I have to take off for ESOL now but I'll be getting to work on all that very soon!

Computer Problems
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Alot of you may have noticed I haven't been posting much on the community, I haven't de-anon'd from any fics in a long while.

Well, I forgot to explain my absence here on LJ.

My computer is dying, to the point that I can't really write or do art, and sometimes not even browse the community, because my computer crashes without rythme or reason. So it makes it hard to work and i constantly worry about backing stuff up because i'm afraid it'll crash and that'll be it.

I wanted to get the sequel to Bang written and posted in February, and as you can see, that hasn't happened. I'm afraid there won't be anything Hetalia related from me until it's fixed. I'll still finish Sith Lord Prussia, as well as the two other fics I haven't de-anoned from. (I don't even remember wtf one was about now...) But now I don't know when I will be able to. WHen the computer crap started I thought it would be an easy fix since it started happening after my uncle tried to upgrade it, (just take the stuff out right?) but he seems to have broken it. Then thought I was getting a job but my mother fucked that up -_-(but I dont wanna get into that). So I have to save up for atleast a netbook or hope I get hired for a census job.

So please be patient for the sequel or anything else you might be waiting for from me ;_;

Sith Lord Prussia (Unfinished)
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Well, it's been forever since I started this. It's still not finished, by I have horrible writer's block with it. I intend to finish, but for now I decided I should de-anon, even if it's pre-emptive. It'll probably take a bit for it to be finishes now, with my computer dying (I probably just de-anoned from two other fics by saying that but...) I'll try to finish.

He really shouldn't have been surprised. That his brother, Prussia, could take a simple innocent movie night and twist it into a disaster.

It had been the same thing for the past year or so. Once a month, they would sit down and watch movies together, each month alternating on who picked the movie. Before the recession their movie night happened more frequently, they would go to the theatre when something one of them wanted to see came out. Or more often than not, when something Prussia wanted to see came out, as half of the theaters had banned him from entry, and the other half wouldn't let him go in without supervision.

Germany tried to keep a nice variety in their rotation, sometimes choosing to buy pay-per-view as a treat and to coerce his brother into doing the same. But it never worked, every time it was Prussia's turn, it was the same thing. The Empire Strikes Back. Germany wasn't sure if it was because he genuinely liked the movie that much, or because Prussia knew doing this drove him insane; but no matter what Germany tried, Prussia stuck to it. Never even another movie in the Star Wars series. Just The Empire Strikes Back.

So every other month, Germany would sit and watch the movie with Prussia. Who, insisted on cheering and jeering all through the film and telling Germany to watch closely at every other part, even though the whole movie had been burned into his corneas. God forbid Germany say anything though, or he'd be met promptly with a "SHHH" or "SHUT THE FUCK UP, WEST! I'm watching my movie!". He dreaded it every-week, but it wasn't really that bad, was it?

Little did he know that this week, it would be that bad.

"I could make one of those." Prussia boasted as he watched Darth Vader and Luke's lightsaber duel.

"A lightsaber? That's impossible.." As he soon as he said it, he regretted it.

"What? Not it isn't! I totally could because I'm awesome! Making weapons is my thing! Making a lightsaber would be a piece of cake!"

"Bruder, I don't think technology is that advanced yet.."

"Sure it is! This is Prussia you're talking to! This is my thing! I can do it no problem!"

"Bruder, could we please just-"

"No! No way West, I'm gonna prove you wrong! I'm gonna make a lightsaber, just you wait!"

And with that Prussia grabbed his dvd and ran up to his room. Germany knew that whatever happened, the outcome would be equally terrible to whatever the alternative would have been.

He couldn't get too angry at his brother though. He was still a nation, he was still Prussia, but at the same time, Prussia didn't exist. Sure, he was technically East Germany now, but it was sill obvious that he would always be Prussia, and he no longer had a nation to call his own. Even though there was no way he could make a lightsaber, it would give him something to do. Maybe he'd even end up making some other type of weapon in the process, and that would make him feel accomplished. He wouldn't deny that Prussia was brilliant at those sort of things, but making a lightsaber was still too far out there.

Germany didn't see much of his brother for the next few days. He would show up, steal some breakfast, then leave, only to return a few hours later carrying a bag full of who knows what. His reclusive behaviour concerned Germany somewhat, he worried he would get upset over his failed attempts to make a lightsaber and obsessing over it. Besides, it wasn't like his brother to be out of his and everyone else's hair for such a long period of time. But for now, he'd let him pout. He loved his brother but it was rare that he got any peace and quiet in the house.

That all came to an end later one night, when wild psychotic laughter echoed through the house, waking Germany from a deep sleep.

"Oh no, what's he done now?"

He wished he hadn't asked, he wished he'd never even said a word during Prussia's stupid movie, because his question was answered by a low humming noise and a crazed Prussia kicking down his door.

"FUCK YEAH! HOW AWESOME AM I WEST!?" Prussia burst in, waving around a bright red lightsaber.

"Oh mein Gott. That isn't real, that can't be real. That's a toy. That's one of those really high end toys." He shouldn't have said that, even if it was only because he wished that was his currently reality. It wasn't.

"You dare doubt your big brother? Watch this! WHOOSH!" In the blink of an eye Prussia had swung his lightsaber and sliced though Germany's bedpost like a hot knife through butter.

Germany couldn't say anything, he was awestruck. His brother had actually done it, and who knows what horrors he would havoc with that. Especially with the skills he had with swords, Germany had almost forgotten. It was awe inspiring and horrifying.

"Oh yeah! Dumbfounded by my awesomeness, bruder? Kesesesese I told you I could do it! Let it be a lesson! Never doubt your big brother again!" And with that Prussia bounded off to wreak havoc with his new 'toy'. Leaving Germany to wonder who he should call and warn first.

Fuck yes. He was back baby! It was foolish of West to doubt him, but he loved a challenge. Especially when he won them. He had been cooped up in his room for days working on his project, now it was time to remind the world just how awesome he really was.

Everyone was still sleeping peacefully in Austria's household when Prussia arrived. Of all his years he never felt more alive. He knew he could go where he pleased and do as he pleased, with his lightsaber, he was unstoppable. Prussia cut through the front gate, then through the front door of Austria's home.

It was really a brilliant invention, even if he hadn't come up with the idea. The glowing red light made it easy to find his way through the house and up to Hungary's room. Usually Prussia would harass Austria and Hungary would sneak up behind him and smack him with a frying pain. But not this time, he could get back at Four Eyes anytime, but tonight Hungary was his target.

When he approached her room he turned off his saber, afraid that the humming may wake her. The door was unlocked and he opened it as quietly as he could. The curtains were open and the moon was full, which lent Prussia plenty of light.

First he quietly went rummaging around Hungary's things, seeing if there was anything he could use for blackmail later on. Her diary? No, it was tempting, but he didn't want her to retaliate by stealing HIS diaries and learning his awesome secrets. There was no way he'd chance that, even if it was a sure thing she could never get them.

Deciding she had nothing of any value, he finally decided on rifling though her underwear. He wanted SOME sort of trophy to remember the evening by, and who breaks into a girls room and DOESN'T steal panties. It's just against the laws of nature.

Satisfied with a pair of skimpy frilly pink panties he decided it was time to rise and shine. With the flick of his thumb the room was bathed in an ominous red glow.

"Mmrr...Is it morning already?" Hungary stirred from her sleep and opened her eyes to see Prussia's standing at the foot of her bed, face illuminated by his weapon, grinning like a mad man.

"Wha--what!?! Prussia what the hell is that!?!"

"What's this? It's a lightsaber, DUH! HAHA What I wanna What are these? I thought you said you'd grow a penis? Or do you dress like a dude for fun?"


Before Hungary could lunge across the bed at him, Prussia sliced through the posts of her canopy bed, leaving her to get tangled in the fabric.

Hungary shrieked in surprise. "Prussia what the hell did you just do!?!"

"That's Sith Lord Prussia to you! Kesesese!"

By this time the commotion had woken Austria up and he came bursting in to Hungary's room, turning on the lights.

"What is going on in- What the hell is that thing!?! Is that a lightsaber!?!"

Prussia turned to Austria and grinned. "You know it!"

"That thing can't possibly-"

"Guess again!" Prussia interrupted, slicing into the vanity next to Austria.

Austria nearly wet himself at the sight of it. He moved well out of Prussia's way and stared at him, mouth agape in horror.

"OH YEAH! That's right Four-Eyes! I'm back on top baby and don't you forget it!" Prussia let out a triumphant laugh, and ran out of the house, slicing everything in his path.

An emergency world meeting was called about the subject of Prussia and his new implement of destruction.

"Wahh! He made a real lightsaber? I gotta have one! I want a green one like Luke!" America jumped up and down excitedly.

"If he made a plasma sword, he can make a plasma gun, I don't care how much I have to pay I want one of those!" Switzerland chimed in. Several other countries agree.

"No!" England pounded on the table. "We can't allow him to make any more. The world isn't ready for this sort of weaponry!"

"You can't stop progress, England! Prussia's made a leap in weapons technology, we need to embrace it!" Switzerland argued.

"I agree with England." Japan said quietly.

"Stop latching on to other people's opinions!"

"I agree with Switzerland, aru. There's nothing wrong with new technology!"

"Prussia didn't invent lightsabers! I did!"

The whole conference broke out into a chaos as usual, everyone arguing the different sides of the plasma technology Prussia had harnessed. As usual, Germany took his place as the voice of reason.

"NOW STOP IT! This isn't why I called this meeting. The issue first and foremost is that my brother, Prussia, one of the most chaotic men in the world, has an extremely dangerous weapon that no one can counter and we need to find a way to stop him before he causes an incident!"

The conference quietly agreed, for once.

"Now if anyone has any ideas about what we can do-"

"Hey why don't YOU stop him, he's YOUR brother. Your brother, your problem!" Someone shouted from the back of the room.

"Who said that!? Who is it? This is a very serious matter and it's everyone's problem! Instead of making remarks like that, why don't you come up with an idea!"

"An idea? Kesesese. Alright then." Prussia poked his head up from the back of the table, showing it was him who had heckled him.

"Mein gott." Germany covered his face with one hand, only imagining where this was going to go.

Prussia jumped up on the table and walked to the middle, twirling deactive lightsaber as he went.

"My idea is, that you should all bow down to me!" Prussia lit his lightsaber and sliced through the air, causing most of the countries to reel back. "Kesesese that's right! Fear me! Kneel before me!"

Switzerland was unafraid and spoke first.

"I'm going to cut to the chase! I want you to make me plasma guns, I don't care the about the cost!"

"No way! I want you to make a lightsaber for me and for my armies! What does he need them for!?" America shouted.

"It takes alot to defend a neutral country!"

"You don't see Sweden drooling over those things and begging for them!"

"QUIET!" Prussia yelled, slicing the air with his lightsaber again. "How about less about what I can do for you and what you can do for me?"

"Alright then Prussia, what is it that you want, aru?"

"Kesese, isn't it obvious." He grinned manically. "I want territory."

"What!? Like, no way!" Poland was the first to protest.

"You can't be serious!"

"I think it's a small price to pay for such awesome weaponry!"

"Perhaps he can become one with me?"

"No good can come of any of this!"

"We dissolved him for a reason!"

Just like any other meeting, the countries broke out into their own arguments. Eventually they calmed down enough to vote on it, majority ruling that Prussia should not get his own territory.

"We can't all agree to that, Bruder. Perhaps we can-"

"I'll still pay good money for that technology, aru!"

"There's no way I'm going to let you have that technology to yourself, China! Whatever you pay I'll pay double!" America shouted.

"Don't give that kind of technology to them! They'll destroy all of us, that sort of weaponry is only safe with me." Switzerland insisted.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen!" Prussia interrupted. He was now sitting in a chair, feet propped up on the table, grinning. "Maybe we could continue this elsewhere, with just the interested parties."

"No way!" England shouted. "What you have should be destroyed! You can't be allowed to do this!"

"You know that's not how things work England. You can't keep him from doing it." Russia chirped happily.

England sighed, disgruntled. Sadly, that was true, and he and the other countries that wanted to put an end to this could do nothing about it. Except hope that Prussia lent his technology exclusively to Switzerland, and that Switzerland stay neutral.

Three nations met with Prussia to try to negotiate an arms deal. America and China were the only ones who could offer Prussia a hefty sum for his technology. However Switzerland was tenacious and was sure he could convince Prussia to give the technology to him. Russia had wanted to get in on the negotiations but Prussia stated he wouldn't give him any of it no matter what he offered.

"If you can see how harmful these things would be in Russia's hands, surely you can recognize the threat America and China hold." Switzerland started straight off the bat. He wasn't one to mince words.

"Kesese, you shouldn't be so brash right off the start! I have other reasons for kicking Russia out."

"Can we please just get on with this, aru? What do you want for your blueprints?"

"Don't give him your blue prints! He's manufacture them so cheaply and they'll explode!"

"Don't insult my craftsmanship, aru!"

"I don't want any red ones! I want blue and green because-"

"QUIET!" Prussia shouted.

The three nations quieted down quickly. No one wanted to admit it but one of the underlying reasons they wanted these weapons were because quite frankly, they were afraid. Well, China and America were at least.

"Now then... I think I'll give each of you 5 minutes on why I should share my awesomeness and build weapons for you. You will not get blue prints. You will order a set amount from me and I'll build that many and no more unless we make another deal. After the initial deal ends I can make weapons for another country as I see fit. I am in no obligation to make another deal with you and I can still make things for myself as I please. Any questions?"

The room was silent, and Prussia revelled in it. He knew that no matter how you looked at it, he had the upper hand and he already knew exactly who he was going to choose to make weapons for.

Switzerland shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like the idea that the other countries would get a hold of such weaponry, but so long as he got them first, he could learn to defend himself with them expertly.

"Can you make green or blue ones?" America was the only one who thought of anything to ask.

"Yes. Any other questions? No? Then we'll go in alphabetical order."

"Alright then! I'm prepared to give you lots of money for your technology! It's important that I stay ontop in the arms games! And I just really wanna a lightsaber like Luke! All you need to do is tell me what you want and I can negotiate on that! But I have to run everything by my boss."

"Kesese, very nice!"

"My turn, aru. Now then-"

"I've decided you suck, China. Leave."

"You can't be seri-"

"Bitch, LEAVE!"

China stared at him for a moment in disbelief. He started to open his mouth to speak but quickly stifled himself and left as the Prussian patted his deactive weapon.

"Now then. Wow me, Swissy."

Switzerland's eye and trigger finger twitched at upon hearing the nickname, but he tried his best to ignore it and say what he needed.

"Now I can't offer you as much as America can, but we've done work together in the past and-"

Switzerland continued on, but Prussia had stopped listening. He remembered working with Switzerland before. It was very unawesome. Especially when he would come over late at night and demand to work on something when Prussia wanted to sleep.

When Switzerland stopped Prussia sat there in silence, pretending that he was debating on who he should work with. It would make them think he hadn't made up his mind yet, plus it was fun to watch them squirm in their own ways. America was fidgeting with excitement, and maybe nervousness. While Switzerland had a slight facial tick that was different from his normal homicidal one.

After ten minutes, Prussia finally spoke.

"Alright. I've made my decision."

"Switzerland. Step forward"

Switzerland quickly rose to his feet, trying to contain himself.

"You ARE the weakest link. Goodbye."

"Why you son of a bitch!" Enraged Switzerland pulled out his pistol and aimed it at Prussia, ready to shoot. Prussia was too quick however and with one motion his drew his saber, activated it, and sliced the barrel off of the gun.

In a rare display of emotion (other than anger that is) Switzerland screamed in horror as if it had been his penis that Prussia had lopped off. He let out an audible scream and ran out of the room.

America couldn't keep seated. He jumped up and danced for his victory.

"Don't be so excited just yet! There's still the matter of you giving me what I want."

A crowd had gathered outside the door of the room America and Prussia were now waiting in. It had started with just a few countries eavesdropping. Busybodies and those who were rejected from the negotiations. When China stormed out more began to gather in curiosity of what China may have done to be ejected from the room. Most all the countries, even ones who hadn't wanted anything to do with the situation gather round the door after Switzerland had come running out.

"This is going to turn out bad no matter what." Germany stated, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"He's right you know. Either he gives America the weapons and he goes on a rampage, or he doesn't and he goes on a rampage."

"Quiet down! Do you want them to hear you!?"

"We can't hear them, how can they hear us?"

"Because they're whispering! So that we don't hear them you git!"

Then nations settled down after that, silently waiting. No one knew exactly what would come of this, all they knew was that it would change the world.

It was an hour before Prussia came waltzing out, quite proud of himself. America followed quickly afterward looking satisfied and full of himself.

Everyone clamoured around America, asking him questions of what happened and what they had agreed to, none of them daring to get too close to Prussia.

America, acting like some celebrity, just flashed a cheesy smile and said he couldn't speak of any details until it was all clear with his boss. He spoke of it like it was just the plot of a movie and not about him getting the most dangerous hand held technology that ever came into being. All the world could do was wait to see what became of all this.

Even after America had the backing of his boss, no details real were given out. No one had really expected America to say much about it. China had been going on that Prussia had spoken about letting other countries get ahold of the technology too, shedding some light of hope upon the other nations of the world.

With impending doom on everyone's minds, world meetings had become more frequent and they'd begun to meet once every two weeks to get details on any new developments. Prussia had not been seen or heard from since finalizing his deal with America. Not even Germany knew where his brother had run off too, but noticed that East Germany had been becoming more closed off to the rest of the country.

"I'm like, totally not cool with what's been going around our border." Poland sneered, twirling his hair. "You're both like up to something, and you're totally not invading me again!"

"I'm not behind any of this! I haven't seen him and there are groups in that area that have been acting just as suspicious towards me!"

"I'm tired of this, aru! We know one person who must be in contact with him, aru! America I think it's about time you tell us what is going on, aru!"

America had been keeping mum about the whole thing, but as the weeks past he seemed to get more and more uncomfortable with the whole situation, until finally the other nations decided to confront him about what was going on with Prussia. All eyes turned onto him, demanding he speak.

He sat there for a moment, feeling the pressure and sweating a bit. When he made his deal with Prussia he promised he wouldn't speak of any of it to the other nations. However given his present situation it looked like he had no choice but to tell them what was going on.

"I haven't heard from him either!" America stated truthfully.

"You really expect us to believe that, aru!?!"

"We're not all stupid, America. I have a right to know what my brother is up to!"

"No! I mean it! I really really haven't heard from him! He hasn't sent me any of the weaponry either and I don't know where he is! My new boss won't let me go searching for him either! He doesn't even know any details about the deal! The old boss hid all the paperwork!"

"But he has to get in contact with you if he wants whatever you promised him, aru!"

"And you have to be keeping an eye on him to make sure he does what he's supposed to."

"I know it's weird right? I mean, he has to give me the weapons and keep in contact me, I mean no one would agree to give him all of what he wanted before getting anything in return! And of course no one would do that without making sure he was under a watchful eye so the deal went down without a hitch."

The room was dead silent for a full minute, until England broke it.


"Of all the stupid things you've done, this really takes the cake!"

"Did England drop you on your head, aru!?!"

"You are like SO retarded!"

"This can't be happening! You've doomed us all!"


"This wouldn't have happened if he had cut a deal with me! We should have done something to stop this! What do we have the UN for anyway?"

"Prussia isn't a nation so I didn't have to-"


"QUIET!" Germany screamed, silencing the room. "We can't change what's already happened, but we have to prepare ourself for what could happen next. America! What exactly is it that you gave my brother?"

"I-I-I... gave him a few million dollars, some of the supplies for the plasma parts and scrap metal from a bunch of tanks! That's it I swear!"

"What do you mean that's it!?! Who knows what he could be doing with all that!?!"

"Aiya! Your stupidity won't stop until you've destroyed the world, will it!?"

At that moment, Picardy burst into the room with a panic stricken look on his face.

"M-m-messuirs! C-come quickly! I-I think y-you need to see this!"

The nations poured out into the hallway and into the lounge area with the tv. They huddled around the small screen, staring in disbelief at was being shown on CNN.

"This can't be real! This can't bloody be real! It has to be some idiotic commercial for some stupid movie!"

Similar sentiments of shock, disbelief and horror came from the oth countries as they watched the screen.

It was footage that a fisherman had taken of a UFO shooting red light in the Baltic sea. Even if the Wolf Blitzer and the rest of the world didn't know exactly what it was, the nations did.

"A Tie-fighter. HE BUILT...a fucking Tie-fighter." Someone said in disbelief.


Poland started shrieking at the top of his lungs about being sick and tired of his borders constantly changing, while Germany had palmed his face in his hands, wondering if this was some horrible nightmare he could wake up from.

All of the nations were freaking out in their own little way. America was sweating bullets, knowing he was largely responsible and trying to think of some way to fix it. England was cursing out America for his glaring stupidity as well as several other nations. Others were screaming at Germany and some had just broken down and started crying. For once in his life Canada prayed he wouldn't be noticed by someone and even Russia seemed uneasy.

The calamity abruptly turned to silence upon hearing a ring from Germany's cellphone. It was an annoying ring tone, one that Germany hadn't set himself. Everyone had heard that ringtone before, it was normally met with looks of annoyance and rolling of eyes. But today it made them anxious, like it was a call that would tell them the results of

Tentatively, Germany opened his phone and answered it.


Even though he wasn't on speaker phone, the room was so silent that they could hear Prussia without it. They would have been able to even if he didn't speak so loudly.

"Kesesesese! Hey West! Long time no see!"

"Bruder, where are you? Alot of people have been...'worried' about you.."

"Awww how sweet!" Prussia cackled, knowing fully well why they were worried. "So bruder, tell me! have you seen the news lately? I was flippin through the channels-"

"We're watching CNN right now."

"Ooo~ we? At a meeting, watching tv? Tsk tsk."

"Bruder, please." German said, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "What.. what is it that you want?"

"They know what I want."

Everyone in the room remained silent, except for Poland who stole the phone from Germany and started screaming into it.


The other end of the line went silent for a moment before a 'kesesesesese' resonated from it.

"You know, I only wanted MY part of Germany to officially be Prussia again but.. Your idea is MUCH better! Niyoniyoniyo-" The line went dead after that. Germany tried to call his brother back but it went straight to voicemail.

"DAMMIT! I swear you're stupider than America! What were you thinking, antagonizing him like that!?!"

"If he does anything, it's on your head aru!"

"You should know better than to antagonize someone like Prussia!"

"Stop! Everyone just stop!" Germany shouted, his fingers moving to his temples this time. "Listen, we can't change what just happened, but now we have a major problem on our hands. We need to go back into the conference room and figure out what we need to do. Picardy! Keep an eye on CNN to see if he does anything right away. Now come on! We don't' know how much time we have before something happens. We must buckle down and figure out something."

The rest of the nations agreed silently and filed back into the conference room. Germany entered last, half thinking and half praying.

Bruder, please tell me you at least have enough common sense to not start a war like this, don't repeat my mistakes...

"I think the best way to remedy this is to give him some of his territory that fell in Poland back. That way we can control the situation without it escalating to war and panic."

"What about that video footage, aru? People will worry over that aru."

"That's easy!" America stood up, posing in one of his typical ways. "We can just say it Russi-"


"Uhm.. W-we could say someone in Europe was trying to imitate that Balloon Boy stunt on a larger scale..." Canada suggested. No one paid attention until Cuba repeated it for him.

"That's a pretty good idea.." England commented.

Canada hung his head and Cuba gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Poland was a wreck as all this went on. He knew he had gotten himself into this, but he refused to admit it, and he was silently throwing a temper tantrum in his chair and stomping his feet as the other nations spoke to him and discussed how to handle the situation.

"So it's agreed then? Poland will give Prussia part of his old territory and Germany will give him what was East Germany, and will share Berlin as a capital

. Germany, Poland, please express if this is alright with you." England asked,

"I agree." Germany nodded quietly.


"Yes." He squeaked angrily.

"It's settled then, when Prussia calls again, we'll offer him this and go from there."

Germany turned to Poland. "I know you don't believe me, but I'm really sorry about all of this."

"Just shut up!" He shrieked, voice strained.

"It's alright, I'll help you relocate your citizens!" Lithuania offered.

Cuba watched from the corner and chuckled. "You know he sounds like Miss Piggy making those noises.. Hey where are you going?"

Canada had begun to sneak away out of the conference room, cell phone in hand.

"Oh! I-I..Uhm... T-to make a phone call!"

"To who? Everyone's already here!"

Canada started to turn red and tugged at his collar a bit. A look of realization came over Cuba's face and he started grinning like an idiot. He grabbed Canada and pulled him out of the conference room. No one seemed to notice.

"You're in on it!" He snickered. "Haha! And you told me that "New Prussia" didn't mean anything! That's where he's been hiding, hasn't it!"

"We-well.... H-h-he..notices m-me.. I ...I just.. t-t-thought...a-and if I d-did ev-everyone else wo-would t-too... A-are you mad?"

"Mad? Hell no. I don't care. It don't affect me! Besides, I'm alright with anyone who messes with your brother. Go ahead, call 'im and tell 'im."

Help Haiti
russia axis powers hetalia kol
Want to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti and get something nice for yourself at the same time? While plain old charity is always best, it's nice to get something for donating as well. There's a community is offering fanworks and other such things in exchange for donations to Haiti.


If you'd like a fic, art, or even a fanvid or Hetalia silly from me, you can bid

Here for fiction http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/3155.html?view=1059155#t1059155

Here for art http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/822.html?view=1069110#t1069110

Here for a Fanvid/Amv/Hetalia Silly http://community.livejournal.com/help_haiti/2138.html?view=1080410#t1080410

To Russia, with Love
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Once again, it was Christmas, America's favourite time of the year. England and Canada were drinking eggnog in the kitchen as he sat on the living room floor wrapping presents and placing them under the tree just perfectly. He had invited several nations over for Christmas this year, and he wanted to make perfectly sure it was perfect for all of them.

The rest of the year America could be self-absorbed, self-important, and lacked the ability to read the atmosphere. But when it came to Christmas, that all changed. He was giving and self-less and somehow could tell exactly what people wanted without asking or being told.

It was hard pulling the holiday together sometimes though, America was busy, especially this year with the recession, but to him that meant he had to make it all the more special. Everyone was under so much stress, they needed at least just one day to relax and enjoy themselves. So America worked himself exhausted all through the night until he finished and fell sleep under the tree at 2am.

At two-thirty AM England had fallen asleep at the kitchen table and a drunken Canada came stumbling out the kitchen trying to make his way to any bedroom he could find. That's when he saw America lying under the tree amongst colourfully wrapped boxes, ribbons and gift tags. It was then he got a brilliant idea of a prank to play on his brother. He crept toward him as quietly as drunk man could, put a ribbon on his head and attached a gift tag to him that said "To Russia, From: Santa." Canada snickered mischievously and scampered out of the room, hoping America wouldn't wake up and catch him.

Morning came and in true Christmas fashion, everyone gathered around the tree to pick out their presents from the others so they could start unwrapping them. It wasn't before long that Russia let out a joyous squeal that sent a shiver down the backs of all the other nations. Russia was sitting on the floor, a sleeping America curled up in his arms.

"Santa gave me just what I wanted! I'll be a good boy and soon you'll all be one with me, da?" He chimed as he cuddled America close to him and rubbed his cheek against his hair.

"What? That's ridiculous, no one gave you America for Christmas!" England made his way over to them to retrieve his former colony from the larger nations arms, but recoiled when he was met with a loud chanting of 'kol' that was even more terrifying than usual.

America blinked awake at the sound of Russia's chanting, the world still veiled in a dreamy haze. The rest of the world was looking upon Russia and America with worried expressions wondering how they would be able to get him away. But all America saw was a room full of his friends and a happy Russia hugging him on Christmas. He yawned and closed his eyes again, just to get a little bit more sleep. Everyone seemed happy and on Christmas, that's all the mattered to him.


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